E.Q. --- Emotion in Question

Eve of the Dog Year

2006-01-28T13:56:00.000+08:00

Well... I'm in a blank state of mind. I have no thoughts or feelings at this point of time. I just wanna play my game. But I have to pack my room first or I'll get another big round of nagging from mummy dearest.

I'll be going for a jog later in the evening if the weather is nice. I haven't been working out since... I dunno when. Moreover with the recent "junking" of all the tibits and cookies (although it's not even the new year yet) and the sore throat, I think I hda better keep myself healthy or at least healthier.

My is still on the phone. So I guess I'll just sneak into cyber-space for just a little while...

And to all my gorgeous and beautiful cousins, I'll see ya real soon. And oh... that reminds me. I got to buy ciggies.

Woke Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed

2006-01-23T14:52:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 2pm today and just finish lunch. I had a nigtmare yesterday night. I can't excatly remember anything at all. I remembered about being late in meeting some big shot in some huge castle in the middle of the night and the guy is pissed off. I was terrified. There was supposed to be someone else with me but when I called him, he backed out. I was all alone with the big guy in formal attire and he lead me into a dungeon where people were once tortured. Well... There were more to it but that was all I can remember. All throughout, darkness and fear was all around.

Okay whatever... It was Shane's wedding ROM thingy yesterday at Amara Hotel. There were only a few of us. 5 tables. Many may think it's kinda "cheap-skate" but to me the couple made an effort to organize it. The wedding came quite a shock to me as it was somehow a little to soon. But I shan't comment more. Hee...

In any case, Shane, you have my blessing. I remembered the first time I met you was at Amara foodcourt with Michael and Lyn. My first impression of you was "pretty but dao". Ha... It was only after sometime working together that I realized you are more than just another pretty face in the office. Instead, you proved to be a strong, capable, out-spoken, young lady. All the drinking and KTV session brought us all, including Lina, closer together. Ha... All the times we were rather broke but still chiong or sing like we struck TOTO. To me, you are more than just another friend. To me, you are someone special and will always remain so in my heart. I have only 2 "darlings": Shane and Lina. And it will remain so in my heart...

Life goes on... There is an article in the Straits Times commenting about the Singapore's education system. Ha... I agree on one part where it mentioned that it's too "exam-based". Ask youself this question,

"Why must I study hard for this course I am taking?"

What's you answer? Is it,

"So that I can pass my exam with flying colours"?
Or
"So that I can get my certificate and get a better job"?

Ha... My answer is this, "So that I am more knowledgable and understand how things are and to one day contribute to society."

But sad to say, many around us never get that. I had a small argument with my mum over this matter during lunch. She claim that "must study hard then can get good grades and then a good job". I don't agree to that. I can get As for all the papers but does that mean I am more knowledgable? Not necessary. I believe you have friends or classmates who are "bookworms". Their life revolved around studying. Their favourite hang-out is the library. After they graduated, where do they work? They remain in lowly positions in their company for the rest of their lives. And can you believe it, many are rather happy with what they are doing. Gosh... Bill Gates was a Havard drop-out. Albert Einstein was a clerk with problems with his math. The point is, you don't become a genius by scoring As in your papers.

Anyway, I plan to set up a business more towards the research area. But of course, I need work experience to get in touch with the world of business and so have to start of by working as some lowly caterpillar in a company. When the time is right, I will go into entrepreneuring. I'll emerge as a beautiful butterfly. Ha...

Okay whatever... I won't be going for class today. I'm still down with cough but getting better. Ha... I smoked Marlboro Reds and it got better. I think I've been smoking too much of menthol lights and it is too "cooling". Now I got to lie to mum. I think I'll just head to Starbucks at the plaza. Oh wait... It's indoors. Damn. Can't somke. Sigh... Looks like I'll just stick to McDonald's.

Read My Essay

2006-01-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

Well... I've posted my essay in my other half's blog. The essay examination was sort of crappy to me. We were given 1 hour to put into paper all the 1000 words. Hee... I didn't managed to scribble all down. All the information was all over the paper. My hand writing became rather "artistic". And I think I had written just about 500 words. Well... I can safely say that the essay was a total mess. Ha... Whatever.

I'm down with a cough. I wonder where in the world I get them from. I've been watching "Microkillers" on the National Geography channel since Monday. Pretty cool I must say. It's about how bacteria and virus can evolve may become not only an epidemic but also a pandemic. From the simple malaria to the deadly ebola virus. It was awesome... The series will continue througout this week.

Oh... Managed to finished my poster assignment this afternoon. Nicely done! Ha... I deserve a pat on the shoulder. But erm... It was 2 days overdue. And for that I deserve a slap on the face. Ouch... I've made a little bit of adjustment on my power point presentation slides as well. And crap... Due to the large number of people in the class, I still have to wait for my turn and that will be next term. Oh well... At least I can touch-up things here and there.

There'll be a talk by some professor in campus tomorrow evening. Probably I should attend. On one hand, I can hand up my overdued assignments and on the other, I can meet up with one of my classmates. Ha... We may have something in common. We tend to finsh things at the very last minute. So I guess the "procrastination" problem still lingers. Probably we should have a talk to discuss on solutions. I have solutions but I just can't discipline myself to put into action. Thus 2 guys, with similiar problems and are both willing to change but just can't really do it alone, encouraging each other will be good. And I hope so...

Anyway, I'm gonna just rest for now. Been sleeping a lot. Not good. But with this cough, I am feeling more tired... Or is it just the cooling weather? It may probably be just "spiritually" tired... Whatever... I'm sleeping now and that's final. Period.

Almost End of the Week

2006-01-12T23:30:00.000+08:00

(I think I'll stick to this font size. Some of the previous posts' font size seem puny.)

I'm back home (obvious!). I've got a 1000 word essay to finish by Monday and I haven't even started my researching. Simple, you say? Ya, it is... The only sort of difficult part is to re-write them by memory on Monday in 1 hour. Ha... Pure memory work. But honestly, this is not much of a chore for me. All I have to do is to memorize key points. The rest is simply filling in the gaps just like what I'm doing now... Blogging loh. So the tough part for me is the researching part, which is what I will be doing later. I'll post my essay when I'm done with it. So feel free to comment on it (If you guys ever make any comments at all that is...)

Well... So what's next? I don't know. Somehow, I feel a little tired tonight. Feeling at ease yet at the same time lacking time. Contradictions in life...

Oh oh... One of my classmates wore boots today. Nice!! I got this "thing" for people who wear boots. Oh... And please lah... This applies ONLY for ladies. I like ladies who dare to be different (but not weird), sexy (but not in a bitchy way), party-lover (but not party-ing 24/7), smart (but not those book-worm type)... Well... I guess every guy will love these on a girl. Ha... But of course there are other factors in which I shall not put it down at the moment 'cos I can write a whole book about the type of girls I like. Hee... That's a reason why essays are not a problem for me 'cos I can elaborate well. Okay... Back to the boots... She wore it 'cos of the rainy weather (So did I). But who cares! She looked good and that's all I need to know. Definitely a turn-on for me. But please lah... The turn-on I mean is not the "erection" type lah. I don't get erected because I see boots (But I don't know about others though...). For those people living in the 60s, a "turn-on" is "something that catch your attention in a positive way". Of course, the word also has a sexual connotation attached to it SOMETIMES. Okay... Back to the boots again... ... Hmmm... Nothing else to say though... It's probably a long time since I last saw a DECENT, NORMAL girl wearing boots. Seen lots of "X-men" (transexuals) and "bitches" wearing them and those are just turn-offs.

Talking about bithches, I haven't been clubbing or pubbing for a long time now. The recent one was with a classmate and his friend. Mostly guy talk... Ha... Oh. That struck another thing in mind. Why are my poly-mates so "boring"? As far as I know, the girls don't club / pub. They just study and work and then go movie and then home before midnight. Jeez... There were just a handful of guys who I hang out often then. The rest were, again, like the above mentioned. And do you know it was sooooooo difficult to organize a class outing. Being a class rep then was seriously a headache when it came to organizing outings. I get much more complains than compliments. I never expect compliments but I sure didn't expect so many complains. Thankfully, with the help from my good buddies then (those handful of guys I mentioned), it was a little easier. But the thing is, they are like 20 year olds and you don't know what is clubbing or pubbing? I'm not asking them to smoke or get drunk. It's just a chill-out session where a little alcohol will keep everyone "high and happy". Or maybe some beach outing at maybe Sentosa but again, they would give excuses for not turning up. So whatever... And I thought poly days are suppose to be "happening". Well... I guess I just I was just in a "different" class then. Ha... But it was definitely a challenge for me. To be able to unite a class with different types of personalities together sure wasn't easy. Ha...

So... Back to the present. Now with the current class, I initially wanted to organize a chalet outing. But I held back. I ask myself, "who will turn up?". Ha... Probably just a handful as many are working or just find it troublesome. Ha... I very much wanted a "watermelon party". What is it, you may ask... Think beer party. Replace beer with watermelon. Not any watermelon, but watermelon that has been soaked for like 1 month of volka. Ahhh... Talk about getting drunk on fruits. But well... I guess that have to wait. But in the meantime, anyone out they organizing a watermelon party?? Please invite me... Hee.

Philosophy 101... Or Not

2006-01-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

What's the reason I keep changing my character in my game of WoW? Indecisive-ness. And this reflects my everyday life. I don't know what I want or why I took up studies or why I didn't pack my messy room etc... I am just simly "lost"... Again... Ha... I realized that long ago but I what I didn't realize was HOW "lost" I really am. My classmates have done most of their assignments while I am still not done much at all.

So okay... This is it. No more procrastinations. No more wasting time. It is time... After this blog, I'm gonna play WoW till midnight and then it'll be assignments till morning. Really. No sleep till I finished most of my assignments. Think I can't do it... Ha... Try me!

So okay... Less talk and more actions... Time for game now though. Hee... Game is part of my life and I intend to keep it that way but of course, in moderation. So well... Ciao!

Revelation!!

2006-01-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

Yes... Revelation. I 've thought of this idea that can totally change the world we're living in. It seem far-fetched, almost like some adept from some sci-fi movie. But it seems so possible...

I was simply in the bus on my way back home from City Hall. It was like 11pm when *DING!*, my mind start chuning once again. Ha... Then this idea came out. When the bus finally arrived in Bukit Panjang, I quickly alighted from the bus, paid my overdue credit card bill via ATM at Bangkit, walked straight to Fajar McDonald's (closes at 1am, thank goodness 'cos I was starving), ate my McSpicy meal and strating scribbling my ideas down. My goodness... What I came out with shocked even myself. Not because it is something new and will make me rich, but because of what it can do. Once this technology is revealed, it will bring along a whole new era. Really... And this is both very exciting and scary. It is not everyday that a new breakthrough will totally revolutionize the world ya know and I tell ya, this WILL revolutionize the world!!

I intend to research more into this idea of mine. I call it "RgMC" or "RegenMat Chip". Ha... Probably you may have GUESSED what it is by just the name, but whatever it is, I ain't telling you the what it actually is. Hmmm... Who knows, people may already have ventured into this idea decades ago. Hee... But good news is that they haven't come out with the product yet. So that means I still have a chance of a "discovery". Cool... Noble Prize, here I come... ...

The New Year Has Begun...

2006-01-04T00:01:00.000+08:00

Yep... It's the year 2006. Time flies... "Cliche", one might say but hey, ain't it true? What have I done thus far? Well... Nothing spectacular. Period. Ha... Now, it's time to look ahead. Now, it's the time to look forward. I have spent my new year's eve's eve at Plaza Singapura McDonald's writing my resolutions for this year. Ha... Came up with lots of things in which some are rather "private" and of course, will not be disclosed here.

Anyway, I spent my count-down with 3 other persons... Namely, Me, I and myself. Oh... And my ciggie. Yep, I was home playing WoW. I heard the shouting and the "happy new year" screaming around the neighbourhood. Blah... Whatever! I was tired of party-ing with booze and babes already. Probably it's the age thingy. I seem to be aging! Ha... Let's just put it this way... It's time to re-organize my life, once again. New year, new start... Another cliche but again, ain't it true?

Oh... I had my 1st lab lesson for the year today, or should I say yesterday, or yesterday evening? Whatever... You get the idea. Anyway, the lecturer made a few comments about the previous lab reports we've submitted just like 3 weeks ago(or was it 2 weeks?). He complimented 2 excellent reports from 2 persons. No problem with that. It's something worth complimenting. But something else came to my mind... These 2 persons are studious, hardworking people. Again, nothing wrong and worth complimenting. But I thought to myself, "Will they make great entrepreneurs?" Hmmm... Somehow I doubt so. Sorry to say that, but from their current "character", I don't think they'll become entrepreneurs. Unless, of course, they change...

It was then that during the whole journey back home that I ponder to myself a series of questions... "What makes an entrepreneur?"... "Why do I think they (at this point in time) don't make good entrepreneurs?"... "Do I make a good entrepreneur?"... "Do others see me as a future entrepreneur?"... ...

Well... First thing that come to my mind is that one makes an excellent worker, forever giving good reports and tests, and the other makes an excellent manager, with the ability to lead to a certain extent and getting things right. On the other hand, it is another person, who didn't know how to do the simplest of analytical calculations that I feel will be an entrepreneur or a business person. "Interesting..." I thought to myself. Really. Ha... If I were to be a boss, I would definitely hire the 2 above mentioned. One as a lab analyst and the other a lab manager. As for the 3rd one, perhaps a business partner... Or who knows, maybe a competitor in the business world. That led me to ask myself another set of questions... "What is success?"... "How do you define success?"... "What is success to me?"...

Hmmm... Those questions reminded me of a book I have just finished reading. It's titled "Whose Cheese Shall I Move?". It's a small thin book that I must say it's real easy to read but leaves you with things to ponder about. Ha... It's about mice and little people in a life game of hunting for cheese and at the end of the storey, the author analyses the different type of people. Some make great workers but never a business person. Some make great business people but achieve it in corrupted ways. And so on... It's a great book and I seriously do recommend people, who want to change their life for the better, to read this book. But for those who simply love their boring-8-5 job-and-doing-tiring-OTs-and-party-on-Saturdays-and-smooching-their-girl-or-guy-on-Sundays-and-the-whole-vicious-cycle-starts-again-the-next-Monday type of life, then maybe you find this book just pure humour.

Whatever it is... I'm gonna read that book again... Later. For now, I'm just gonna start doing today's lab report. Ha... Just last year (2005), I always start doing my lab reports on the day before submission. This year (2006), I'm doing it on the day after the lab lesson end. Oh... And that's one of my 2006 resolutions. So... How about yours??

Messy... Time for Resolutions

2005-12-29T13:50:00.000+08:00

I have been... well... rather "lost". I didnt know what I was doing. I was practically rotting at home. WoW was my life and my life was WoW. Even then, I kept changing characters. I was rushing through all my school assignments and pretty obvious, all were sub-standard. I still have over-dued assignments. Jeez...

I don't know... I just feel that my life recently was messy enough. I just woke up this afternoon (was playing game till wee morning) feeling that I need to do something... fast. I haven't exactly sort everything... or rather, anything out yet. Gosh... It's so messy that I don't know where to start... Got a practical test later in the evening and I've started preparing only yesterday. Got a report that I haven't started that was due yesterday. Got a presentation tomorrow that I haven't even rehearse.

I have so many things to say now but I shall not do it now. All shall be revealed in due time... Ha. I'm looking forward for the 31st. Not for the partying as I'm rather sick of it and honestly, I find it rather meaningless (no offense, guys). I just wanna sit at some Coffee Bean with my C&C (not Command & Conquer but Coffee & Ciggie) and writing our my new year's resolution. It's time to get serious with my life. Time is short...

Well... I have lots to say... But like I've said, all be revealed in due time. Ciao!

Murder in the First Degree

2005-12-02T12:21:00.000+08:00

Gosh... I have a confession to makwe. I killed my handphone. All happened yesterday morning...

I was in office as usual. But this time round I was "negotiating" with my toilet-bowl. When all was done, flushing the toilet, pulling up my pants, my phone rang. Well... Naturally, I reached into my pocket to grab my ringing phone. It was then that the crappiest thing happened. My handphone suddenly decided to go swimming in the nearest water source, which is the toilet bowl. No no... It decided to go diving, not swimming. Gosh... I immediately fished it out but I guess the damage was already done. I rushed to dry it with the hand dryer but it was struggling to keep alive.

Soon after, another disaster happened... I placed my phone beside the basin as it was getting over heated. then I washed my hands. I have no idea why I did that anyway. Then somehow, I accidentally knocked my phone into the basin, while the water was still runnung!!. Yep... And there it was again, swimming. This time round, it died. Not even CPR could save it.

I'll be going to the phone hospital this Saturday to resurrect my phone. Gonna make sure it is real dry or I won't be able to use my warranty. Sigh... Don't know how to swim then don't act smart go diving... Angry that I don't let you swim also no need to commit suicide mah. Now that you are dead, I have to take find a "priest" to resurrect you. Troublesome...

I'm using a spare phone provided by my mum. Still figuring out the functions but at least I found the buttons and the screen. Good enough for now...

Come to think about it, that wasn't murder. It's manslaughter... I didn't do it on purpose. Okay best... Time to engage my lawyer... ...

To Be Or Not To Be...

2005-11-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

Well well well... I Woke early this morning to type my resignation letter. I wanted to end my work this week. But somehow, I didn't submit it to my boss. I'm still puzzled by that, really. Now there's this commotion amongst my Dad, Mum and me. Sigh... 2 options.

Number 1: Quit now before finding another job.
Pros: During free time, I can really concentrate on my studies and all the piling-up assignments. I can also exercise 'cos I have to pass my IPPT (damn the SAF for that).
Cons: No income for who knows how long. Nagging from parents that I play game too much and wasting my time (Jeez...)

Number 2: Find another job before quitting.
Pros: My income will still be flowing. Less nagging from parents claiming I'll be rotting at home.
Cons: Tight for me to study and complete my assignments. By the way, the exams are just (and I really mean JUST) after the Chinese New Year.

What's MY plan? Number 1. Why? Simple... Studies as priority. My parents claim likewise and now they want Number 2. Jeez... So hard to please people now-a-days. Hello!! I'm the one struggling through the work-study thingy though I understand that my Dad sponsored for my studies. The pressure is ON ME for crying out loud! Games are just a CHEAP way out of stress. I can go clubbing, pubbing, movies, coffee etc. and spend like 50-150 bucks a day. But I'm supporting myself too with debts to clear. So cheap way out is to stay home and start gaming. Simple as that. But of course, parents think otherwise. So what to do? You tell me lah... Like I mentioned before, I'm tired of thinking for others already, or in a matter of fact, tired of the actual thinking and deciding. I thought that studying and switching to another job will at bare minimum make my parents happy. But it seem short-lived. Now a whole new set of problems arises. You tell me what to do lah? First Number 1 then Number 2. I've mentioned before upteem times about the pros and cons of BOTH Number 1 and Number 2 and was told to decide for myself... And now when I made a choice you guys go against it. Jeez... What to do? You tell me what to do??

Sigh... So what are the current "stress" that I have?

1. Nagging undecisive parents... Claim that I spend to much time playing games. Claim that I didn't study. Claim that I should put studies first BUT want me to work so that I won't waste time. How do I justify? Read the above...

2. No time to exercise... Got to pass my IPPT or I've got to do RT in January. How do I justify? Again read above... Out of home at 7am, back at 10.30pm. Now you try exercising after that... With work and study, how the hell am I to do RT in the first place?? SAF... And they say it is the MOST well-organized body. Jeez... Whatever!

3. Debts... Got lots to pay off monthly. I can only survive through the month WITHOUT extra entertainment (clubbing, movie etc).

4. Lack of personal social life... Work study game sleep. That's my life for now. No time no money. I don't even have someone to really "dump" my woes onto.

5. Sick... Sore throat, running nose and insomia been hovering over my head like some undispelled plague. It has been on and off for like 2 weeks.

How? You tell me how lah?? Aiyo... Headache, man... I just wanna have a short get-a-away for now. No work, no study, no nagging parents, all expenses paid for... Ha... Even then, when reality comes back, there'll just be less time to settle things. Sigh... Solutions anyone? I'm just too tired to think, really...

So life's like this for now... I'm not accepting this at all for your information and I will not allow to be in this "shit" for long. Solutions, solutions, solutions... But none good enough thus far. All I can do now is to put a SOS note in a bottle and float it to sea and hopefully someone will read it and send help. Well... Got to find my way out fast or I'll go bonkers soon. No kidding!

I'm Tired Today, man...

2005-11-24T12:45:00.000+08:00

Yep... I'm tired today and I don't know why. Physicall or mentally tired? I don't know either. Somehow, I'm tired to think today. And I didn't even put on my tie for work. Oh... And I'm blogging in the midst of work! Anyway, it's officially lunch time mah...

Oh... This morning, while preparing for work, I had a startling discovery... It totally caught me off-guard... I was absolutely unprepared for that incident... I was at a lost for quite some time... I DISCOVERED THAT I HAVE NO WASHED UNDERWEAR!! All was still drying. Gosh... And mind you, this IS serious. You can't expect me to go underwear-less for work. My trousers are kind of thin and trust me, I will look and feel weird. I know that I prefer not to wear any undies on many occasions but definitely not when I'm going for work. Anyway, fortunately I have a box of new undies. Phew! Though I could have easily wore boxer shorts, I didn't. It'll be as good as wearing nothing. But whatever it is, thank goodness!

I'm still feeling listless... Tired eyes, dry throat, cold hands... oily face too. How I wish I can sleep now. Or rather how I wish I can sit at Coffee Bean, smoking and having nice chilled coffee. Oh... Or rather how I wish I'm in my hotel room with the window facing the sea with a ciggie in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other... Sigh... I seriously need a break. And a long one too.

Oh oh... My colleagues are back. So I guess I'll be off for my lunch now.

Byezzzzzzz.......

Been A Looonnggg Time huh...

2005-11-22T15:06:00.000+08:00

Well... It's been a long time since I last blogged. Exactly 1 month I must say. Hee...

Found myself a job (did I mentioned that before?). Recruitment Agency doing marketing. It's been like 1 month already.

"So how's work?" One may ask.
"Honestly... I don't know..." That's my reply. Really.

I'm fortunate to have a friend who got me into this job. But 1 month have passed... And somehow, I still don't feel that I should be here. What I'm studying now is totally way-off from what I'm doing now. Moreover, I don't think I can cope with both my current work and studies in time to come. Now I'm still "relaxing". But next month onwards, things will change. My priority is still in studies, of course (30k school fee ain't cheap for your info). I've planned to quit this current job actually. But Boss wasn't around. And there were already "big" plans laid out. Lots of marketing stuffs to do and to be honest, I'm uncertain as to how to go about doing it. All these stuffs are new to me. And my "specialty" ain't marketing but more to analytical stuffs in the Biological / Chemical industries. I'm pretty good at designing but that's more to a personal interest rather than skill.

Whatever it is, here I am... In another undecided position. I can go ahead in resigning with only my own intentions in mind. But it will not be fair for Boss and my dear friends here in the company. I means that Boss gonna start being "PMS" mode (she's a lady by the way and PMS is a major problem) and my fellow colleagues gonna have more work.

How? You tell me how? Sometimes I wish I can be more "jue" or hard-hearted. No need to worry so much and I can get what I want. Thinking for others can be a real headache. Sigh... My decision is set. Resign... Only question is "when?". Next question is "what's next?". Answer... Looking for another job related to what I'm studying. It is only then that I'll be at least satisfied. Right now, I feel like I'm a chicken in the pond, or a fish in the desert, or a sheep in the jungle... You get what I mean...

Sigh... So far my life still in transition state. Work life. Study life. Love life. Personal life. All still messy. I need a break from all these. Come to think about it, I haven't really had a decent break. Only break I have are the weekends. But what I want is a totally relax break for like 1 week to just relax at coffee places, the beach, the sea, and just take time to "smell the flowers and talk to the bees".

Funny thing is that recently I met an acquiantance on MSN and I advised him on the "take a break" thingy and I myself ain't doing it. Ha... Contradictions. Kenny ah... Kenny... Sigh...

So tell me... What shall I do? I'm tired of thinking already. Why don't you think for me... At least for now...

Bad Morning Start

2005-10-20T12:01:00.000+08:00

Goodness... I took the bus to work this morning. It was a bad move. There was a traffic jam right at the start of the BKE. Damn... The bus ride took like an hour and a half and I arrive to office just before 10am. Fortunately Boss was not around. Or else I comfirm die sia. That's it man... No more will I take the bus to work anymore. I just got to make do with the MRT even though I prefer the bus ('cos can sit and sleep mah).

Anyway, i was damn tired after the bus ride. No idea why. Got myself a can of Red Bull to start my morning. It works wonders though... Much much more awake now. Honestly, I don't know what to do now. My mind is in a blank. Again I have no idea why. I have lots of Marketing stuffs to catch up but I just don't know where to start. Or how to start. This is bad, man... Not productive. I need solutions... Well... On the bright side, at least I'm already getting used to the envionment.

Study-wise... ... So far boring. Ha... But I got to know 2 other guys attending the same class. Since they will be attending different classes (we're of different courses), I've decided to have a last get-together next Monday, after our lessons at 10pm. It's always great to make new friends... By the way, i won't be attending lessons till Monday. It's really too boring. I need my rest sia... Already I can feel the strain on my eyes.

This Saturday will be celebrating Shane's birthday at Momo. Hmmm... A bit broke though. But must give face lah. Pay day not here yet... Credit bills piling up. Ha... Sometimes I admire myself. How the hell I survive all this while. I'm good ah... Ha...

Okay... Enough said. Time to finish up what I have to do. Hmmm... What do I have to do? Whatever lah... Can't be blogging here all the time during office hours. See ya...

Long Time No Blog... Ha...

2005-10-19T12:51:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a while or should I say really long while since I've last posted. Ha... Lots to catch up huh... Now where shall I start?

Ahh yes... I've got a job as a Marketing Exective in a recruitment agency. All thanks to Lyn. She really helped a lot. I've been here since last Tuesday and I must say there's a lot of adapting to do. Honestly, I'm not familiar at all with all these stuffs. I'm still getting the hang of things around here and I've got to be fast as one of my colleague is resigning. But all is well... Positivity is always the key. For now, I just got to be creative (marketing mah). Currently, I'm coming out with the design of our webpage. Though the template is up already (done by our designer), my boss just ain't satisfied yet. Hee... I've came up with a few suggestions in which I'll discuss with her when she comes back. And oh... By the way, my boss is in Shang Hai for a business trip. She'll be back on Friday and that's why I can blog now. Ha... Anyway, i just find that creativity is the key. I came out with a new motto: Do it Different... Make it Better... Sounds good huh. Ha... I've even thought making a "trophy" out of it and I've already have the design in mind. Now I just need someone to mould it out for me... Hmmm...

Anyway... People here are nice. My boss and my 2 other colleagues. Hee... And yes, there are only 4 of us so far. More will be coming in once the interviewees are finalized. Ha... I'm the only guy around here. So i can very proudly and safely say that I, Kenny, is the most charming, good-looking guy in the company. Cool... I hope the rest of the people coming in will be ladies so that I can remain my title.

School have started already since last Monday. The tutorials are rather boring. Not that because of the lecturers but because I've studied all these before during my secondary and JC days. Actually, I can be exempted from these 2 weeks of lectures. But what the heck lah... Main idea is to get accustomed to the people and surroundings. Oh... And guess what? One of my poly-mate is in the same class too. Is this a blessing or a disaster? I don't know... Hee...

Been on my game WoW less often due to time constrain. I'm out of home by 8am and only back at 11pm. Phew! Working and studying sure is tiring. But I still make it a point to game foe like 1 hour before I sleep. Hee... The excuse I gave my mum was that I need to dry my hair before I sleep.

Well... Shane started working... Lina may be starting work... Mozaine will be flying away again for 2 weeks this time. Things seem so different compared to just 3 months ago. Time flies... Really... And scary. Before you know it, you're getting old. Ha...

Okay lah... Back to work. Still have stuffs to finish. See ya soon... I hope.

WoW

2005-10-06T14:15:00.000+08:00

World of Warcraft aka WoW... Yep. I bought the game after much consideration. Why do you not see new posts? It's beacuse of this fantastic game. I was really really and really addicted to it. I actually played for like 18 hours a day! Really! I couldn't even be bouthered to pick up calls. The only time I took a break was to eat (only if mum cooks), to smoke (only in the wee hours when mum is asleep) and to pee and poo. This MMORPG simply is awesome. I had better not say too much on it as I can just go on and on and on about it. Like I say, it's just pure awesome...

I've actually save up quite a bit on the money. Simply because I didn't step out of home. That means no coffee sessions, clubbing, movies etc for the past few days. What Michael say was right... One can actually save up quite a lot when one is "glued to the screen". Hee... Got to take his word 'cos he used to be a hardcore gamer himself.

Anyway, I've been for an interview 2 days ago which was introduced by Lyn. It's about HR and marketing. I don't mind at all 'cos a job will keep me occupied, get experience and cash will start to flow in too. Though all these can be fulfilled by gaming, a job gives a more practical touch.

Oh... My good guy Mozaine finally contacted me. It was good to hear that he is still alive abd breathing. Ha... I may be going to Brix this Saturday. Maybe I can ask him along. He was the one who introduced that place to me intitially anyway.

My 2 girlfriends went for a holiday to Sunway Lagoon. They wanted me to join them but I was reluctant 'cos of $$ problem (again). I would rather use these days to go hunt for a job instead. A lot of time will be wasted. Firstly, it's a 3D2N. So 3 days gone. Secondly, when you return back, you'll be in a very relaxed mood not wanting to do anything. So another 1 or 2 days gone. Thirdly, you realized that it's close to the weekends or it's already the weekends and you wanna go clubing. So it's yet another 2 or 3 days gone. Overall, it's like 1 week gone.

Okay... I can feel it. I heard a calling from beyond... ... It's telling me to start gaming. I am needed in the other realm... ... ...

What's Wrong With This??

2005-09-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

What the...? Seems like there's some error with the blog post thingy. But whatever... Anyway, I went for a movie alone in the afternoon. Corpse Bride. Hmmm... Not to bad... Not to good either. There's just ain't thrill and excitment. But hey... What can I ask for from such a movie? Hmmm... What genre is it anyway?

Oh... I bought World of Warcraft. S$79.90. Damn! Am I going broke... I'm now just waiting for the downloading of dunno-wat to be completed and my my my... I've been waiting for the past hour and a half. Gosh! Another 26 more minutes to go or so says the indicator. Whatever lah... Once it's done, I'll be having a good time. So I guess it's worth the wait. Hee...

I also recieved a phone call for an interview. Finally! But again there're problems. From what I know, the place is in Tuas. But that's still okay. Working hours is from 9-6. I'll be havong lessons from Monday to Friday (and sometimes Saturday) from 7-10pm. If I'm at Tuas, I need to leave by 5pm and there's the bare minimum. I'll be going for the interview anyway this coming Monday. Hopefully, things can be negotiated. If not, then I have no choice but to reject. I may be desperate for a job but still studies comes first. My dad paid 30k for this ya know.

And oh... Shane and Lina wanted to go for a short vacation overseas. Honestly, I'm not very interested as I prefer to use this time a job hunt. Moreover, I'm a little broke. Though I very much want and need a get-away, I have to go for a pass this time round.

Well... This downloading of dunno-wat is almost done. I'll be back. Hee...

Just Another Tuesday

2005-09-27T10:47:00.000+08:00

Done... I've just finished printing out my resume for a position as a Lab Technician found in today's The Straits Times classified section. Honestly, lab tech ain't my ambition at all. But with just a Diploma, this is all I can ask for. I wonder why people can just take it being a mere lab tech. I don't see much excitment as one and the pay ain't that high. Actually, salary is my primary concern. I can survive with just $1200/- take home income. But if a girlfriend comes along? How about supporting Mum? Paying household bills? How about 10 years down the road? Will $1200/- be enough considering the inflation rate? 1 plate of chicken rice may well cost over $5 in the future ya know... Therefore, my aim... PhD. Probably as some senior lecturer. Hee...

Well... I bought October's edition of Men's Health late last night. Hee... Initially, I just wanna get acquainted with my ciggies. Anyway, there's this paper in-slot thingy to preview a copy of some home workout book. Simply just mail this paper in (for free) and if you like it, you keep it and pay for it. If not, just return it back within 14 days. Hee... Good advertising strategy. Imagine you already recieved some goods and it turned out not bad and the price is resonable. Would you bother to return it back? Within 14 days? Anyway, I'm getting one... Need to know the various workout for different muscle groups. Need to lose some fat and gain some muscle mass. Yeah baby... Time to pump it up!

Oh... I'm leaving a goatee. I didn't shave for like 5 days. Cool... The only problem is how to maintain the goatee. You know... It's like maintaining a patch of grass. How long should I keep it? How to cut it? What's the area in which to contain it? But whatever it is, I do look more mature, maybe sexy even. My mum says I look disgusting (she didn't say that directly but her meaning is as such). I think I look cool. All I need to do is just to keep it tidy like the grass in the golf fields. Ha...

Oh boy... Nature's calling. Time to get the shit out of me... Byez!

Monday Blues...

2005-09-26T13:26:00.000+08:00

Yep... It's Monday yet again. I woke up at 1130 hrs. Hee... I wonder why. I slept at exactly 12 hours ago and that means I have 12 hours of sleep! My goodness... I need a job fast or I'll end up pigging my way through life.

I just cleared my bills and my messy study table. I must say it's sparkling clean but somehow my mum still say it's messy. Whatever... Oh. Mum took out a half chicken from the freezer 3 hours ago and still she's deciding what to do with it (and I mean what style of cooking, morons!). Ended up, we decided to just shred it into the porridge.

As for me, I'm seriously job hunting now. Anyone have any "lobang"? I don't even mind low (not too low lah) pay. I'll do anything. Well... Almost. I don't sell my backside.

I have nothing interesting going on in my life at the moment. The main concern I have now is just money and that means a job. Next would come girlfriend. Ha... What can I say? I'm a desperate guy... Desperate for a job and a girl. Not sex. Enough of that already. I just wanna settle down now. Fling-and-flirt (aka. FnF) days are over.

So with that... Anyone have job and girl to intro???

End of ICT

2005-09-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

Ahh... All over at last. I just woke up about an hour ago. Hee... Here's the story...

I can't exactly remember what happened on the "arcade game" day (It's actually just rifle shooting made computerized). Anyway, Wednesday and Thursday was the "fun" part. To keep it short, let's just say we slept in the sun, sand and the trees... along with spiders, ants, mosquitoes... Oh and mud, rain... ... And we were exhausted to the max. Phew!

We were allowed to be "out-process" (it's just means ending the ICT with the returning of our pass given out on the first day of ICT) on Friday instead of today. Coolz! Our section (there were 3 sections in our platoon) organized an beer session on that very Friday, which was yesterday night. It was at Brewerks, near to club Momo. We invited our Platoon Commander, Edmund, along with people here and there from our platoons. Overall, the 15-20 of us had a great time chit-chatting, gossiping, joking and drinking. We ordered 5 towers of beer by the way. I didn't drink much as I just can't swallow beer. But give me liquer and it won't be a problem. After about 3 hours there, I left (around 30 minutes past midnight) for Momo where my 2 darlings, Lina and Shane, were. Momo was packed and for the first time ever, I sweated in a club. The place that we occupied was somehow stuffy. We, along with 2 other of Lina's Chinese friends, went to Lau Pa Sat for supper. Hee... And by the time I reached home, it was already 6 am. Took a quick bath and I Zzz off till 3pm for lunch, then Zzz again till 1 hour ago. Ha... Hey hey... I just have a few hours of sleep ever since from that Wednesday onwards.

But sigh... Fun is over. It's back to "reality". My bills are in again. I'll start sorting things out tomorrow morning, not now. I'm still pretty tired. Actually, I'm feeling vexed... I have problems paying my bills, jobless, still have to rely on my mum, most of my friends somehow MIA, the girl I fancy is with another guy... ... Sigh... Plus nitty-gritty here and there. Add all these together and you have Me - Just one troubled, vexed-up guy.

Whatever... Life still goes on. I'll pick up the pieces tomorrow starting with my bills first. I'll just have to start from me, I and myself once again. Kinda lonely huh... Life goes on... Life still have to go on... ... ...

5th Day of ICT

2005-09-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

Shagged out, man!

I failed at the attempt of going OOC (out of course). Since I didn't get it, I might as well go through the motion. So I did what everyone did on my own accord dispite I was being excused from heavy loads. So what did I do today? Sandbags, sandbags and more sandbags... Almost the whole day was spent just filing sand into sandbags. So simply put it... At the end of the day, everyone was tired, sweaty and dirty. Ha... But okay lah. We crack jokes to lightened up the load.

Well... We've got to book-in at 0715 hrs tomorrow morning 'cos we'll gonna play arcade game. Hee... To keep the suspense, I'll tell you more tomorrow instead. But sigh... To book-in at that bloody early time means I've got to wake up at 0500 hrs man! Sianz... Anyway, I'm already tired. Barely can keep my eyes open. I just stop here for now. My mind is in a blank sia... I go pee then I'll let the Zzz-monster come get me... ...

After Zouk-ing Out

2005-09-18T16:47:00.000+08:00

At long last, I manage to Zout out. Ha... It was kinda fun. Met up with Lyn and her companions yesterday night for a quick much before we head out to Zouk. Her younger sister was fun. Can be a chatter-box and lame, which I like. But Zouk yesterday seem too... How should I put it?... Too mainstream (can't think of a better word). Neithertheless, I enjoyed myself and I believe the others too.

Michael's place was available for a "crash-in" at 0400hrs. Hee... I wanted to initially (with Lyn), but my dear Lina was at Momo with her newly made acquaintances she knew from Momo too some time back. I was a little worried for her so I headed down to join her while Lyn "crash-in".

When I went in Momo at about 0330hrs, the music sucked big time. It was much worse than at Zouk. But Lina introduced me to her new acquaintances and I felt good. It's simply because many of my other friends never bother to introduce someone to others when there's a get-together. Whatever lah... Anyway, Lina was complaining about someone again. Hee... I shan't mention who and I shan't mention what was it about for now...

I had this feeling, this emotion, which I haven't felt for quie some time. Story goes like this... I knew this girl for about a couple of years already. And over this span of time, we grew rather close to each other. But not the "boyfriend-girlfriend" type lah... I always like her character... Independent. She knows how to take care for herself and need not rely on guys. Oh and not to mention she's gorgeous too. Anyway, just very recently, I hang out with her friends. There was this particular guy in which she was tugging his shirt, occasional brief hugs talking softly to each other etc... It was then that I realize that my goodness, I was a little jealous 'cos I never get those from her and her particular friend, whom she knew not too long ago, got it. I compare this with another close friend of mine and I didn't feel as such for her. I actually like this girl more than I thought. I always thought we were more of "brother-sister" but that incident changed my perspective. But I ain't gonna make any moves as it will be quite impossible for us to be together 'cos of religious point of view. Whatever it will be, I will still look-out for her. As long as she is happy, I am happy too. Really... ...

4th Day of ICT

2005-09-17T13:24:00.000+08:00

SAF damn cock-up... Whatever... My camp's Medical Centre was closed. Since when the bloody hell they close on Saturdays? It wasn't so just when I was still a NSF. But then again... In the past, policemen were in shorts... Honestly, I was pissed off as I didn't get what I was supposed to get which is 3 days MC. Sigh... Forget it lah. I just go ahead with everything and live through the coming 6 days with my comrades. Calulating the time and effort put in to defer, I realize it's just not worth it. By the time everything is processed, it may be Tuesday or Wednesday (ICT ends on Saturday).

Anyway, all we did today is just checking of the field pack items and soaking of uniform in the pesticide solution. Ha... I've realized I missed out quite a bit during my absence. I haven't had the time to buy the necessary items for the field camp and I don't know where the hell is the "digging" site. Oh well... Guess I find out on Monday.

I guess I just take a nap first. Though didn't do much, somehow still feel tired. Hee... I'll be Zouk-ing out tonight with Lyn. Ahhh... Can see my tattoo at last. Ever since my ultra-violet lamp broke down months ago, I haven't seen my lizard (and yeah... I've a "glow-in-the-dark" lizzie). Okay lah... I'm tired. Zzz-monster baby, here I come... ZZZzzzzzzzz............

3rd Day of ICT

2005-09-16T20:44:00.000+08:00

Well well well... I was naughty again. I woke up at 0700hrs, informed my superior that I was "reporting sick outside" and continue sleeping till 1130hrs. Hee... My mum nagged as usual saying something like "don't get into trouble" etc. Whatever... I went to see my family doctor requesting him to write a letter for me to OOC (out of course). He did mentioned that I was supposed to be on MC for 3 days and not just light duties. Looks like my camp M.O. made a mistake huh... But I was stupid in a way lah. I should have be a little more bold and made my statement about being OOC to the M.O.

But anyway, I was back in camp at about 1500hrs and I was told to wait for their return as the guys were all out on the field. And well... I waited till 1730hrs. I've told my superiors about my letter thingy and all I have to do is to endorse it first thing tomorrow morning. Ahh... If all goes well, I'll be out. Best!

Some may find that I'm just "chao geng". Too bad for them loh... I am still able to defer my ICT. Can they do that? Do they have what it takes to do that? I did it simply because I'm out of job at the moment and looking for one is top priority for me. I'll do all it takes to get out of this ICT. I know what I want and time is precious for me at this point in time.

Ahh... Looks like I'll be able to Zouk-out tomorrow night with Lyn to celebrate my "freedom". Oh... Wallet a bit empty though. Ha... But I'll find a way out of this small problem. Ha... Let's just say I was trained at this... ...

2nd Day of ICT

2005-09-15T19:11:00.000+08:00

I did something spectular today. I went to see my doctor regarding my back problem. But of course, I never did have such a history. Hee... So in other words, I just fake my way through hoping to get deferred. But alas... All I have was 2 weeks of "excuse heavy load & physical training". Good enough. I feel rather good and bad at the same time. Why good? Simply because I manage to fake my way through... Why bad? Simply because it's unfair to the others. Sigh... Anyway, since I can't fake any more problems, I will do my best in this remaining days in camp assisting the rest. Well guys... I'm never a patriot so I'll do all (or almost all) means to get out of the "serve the government" system. At the same time, I'm also a person with conscience. So I'll definitely do my part to help out as well.

Anyway, we did practically nothing (besides lunch and lazing around) today. We were supposed to have our IPPT but due to the sudden rain, it was postponed. And as usual, "booking out" was early at 1615 hrs. Hee... But honestly, to me, it's a bloody waste of time. I could have use this time to find out more about my future PhD and looking for a job. I need income asap!

Oh... While I was waiting for my bus home, there was this "bang-ga-lah" who asked me which bus to take to Mustafa Centre. Of course his English ain't fluent but I just managed to catch some words. Obviously, I have not a single clue as to where the place is and what buses can reach there. Eventually, he asked the bus driver. Ha... After he had gotten his answer, he came and sat beside me again. This time he was complaining... Oh and the bus he was supposed to take was 980. He was critizing us as Singaporeans have a lousy command of English. And he added a few "flowery" words. 980... Say it as "nine-eight-zero". But the bus driver say it as "nine-eight-oo". I laughed it off but was kinda ashamed in a way. We as Singaporeans can't even use proper English and we need a "bang-ga-lah" to teach us... But then again, his command of English was much worst off. What gave him the right to lecture us anyway?? But whatever lah...

Ahh... I just thought of something interesting about the superiority of the sexes while on my way home. Read it at my other half's, I.Q., blog...

1st Day of ICT

2005-09-14T17:13:00.000+08:00

I'm back from my very 1st day and 1st ICT... Just finished my bath and now I'm feeling a little more refreshed. Nothing much today except for briefings for the coming days. Sigh... Anyway, I wasn't the only one from my flight. Oh... And I'm from Charlie Flight and was attached to Bravo Flight 'cos I deferred my previous June's ICT. Ha... Managed to catch up with a few of my old camp-mates. We'll be having our IPPT (again) tomorrow evening. Sigh... I've just taken mine 3 months ago and I'll be going through it again. Jeez... I never did pass any of them ever since I ORD 4 years ago. Oh well... At least I'm in Cat Y now. 20 more seconds to pass my 2.4km run. Ha...

Lyn was intending to go Zouk tonight since it will be closed for renovation next week. If she's going then I'll join in the fun. If not, I'll probably just watch anime tonight. Hmmm... If I go party tonight, I'll be exhausted for tomorrow. But if I don't, I won't be enjoying Zouk for quite a while. To go or not to go... Whatever... Deciding factor is Lyn. Hee...

As for now... I'll probably just take a nap while Mum is preparing dinner. Didn't sleep much yesterday (again) and to make up for any loss sleep tonight. So back to visit my Zzz-monster. I think he miss me... ...

Hazy Monday

2005-09-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

Interesting things happened yesterday... First and foremost, I had actually received a sms from Michael (my ex direct superior) asking to meet up in town. From what I know, he would usually sleep his way through. But I received his sms at around 1130hrs. I was still asleep, man! He said wanted to meet in town at 1600hrs but didn't specified exactly where in town. And so I sms back 2 hours later ('cos I was asleep). Well... He didn't reply back and my guess was he went back to sleep (quite normal for him lah). I was right... He did went back to sleep. Ha... Anyway we met up at Taka at 1800hrs. We went to one of Mandrian's restuarant lounge (forgot the name). I remembered I first went there with one of ex-colleauge, Sharon (she's quite a "classy" person so she knows such places). But anyway, we chit-chat quite a bit. Hee... One thing I like talking to Michael sometimes is because he can share quite a bit on "the other side of viewing things".

Oh... And another info he shared with me... 3yrs degree, then 1 yr relevant working experience, then 1 yr Masters, then 3 yrs relevant working experience, then 3 yrs (I think) PhD. So total is... ... ... 11yrs! I'll be 36 by then! I've thought of venturing into teaching. But not primary or secondary. I wanna teach the young adults which includes poly and uni students. Why? Simply because I wish to share my knowledge and life experiences to them. I will definitely adopt a different style of teaching... Like GTO. Ha... I can write a long essay if were to post about my future style of teaching. But that'll be long term goal. As for now, it's just getting a job and get the income rolling in.

When I was walking to the bus-stop to wait for my bus home from Taka, there was this short, very tanned old lady, pushing a small market trolley of bulky things who approached me, asking for 2 bucks to take a cab home. I paused for about 1 second just to quickly observe her to judge if she was a cheat, but she didn't seem like one. I smiled and gave her 5 bucks instead. She was overjoyed. Kept saying "thank you" in Mandrian. I felt good too.

Now the catch is this... I met a similar incident during my NS days ( I think). I was almost mid-night at Bukit Batok MRT station. There was this rather well dressed guy, probably in this late 20s, who approached me saying he was drunk and no money to get home in cab. He even showed me his wallet and I can tell he drank quite a bit by the smell of alcohol in his breath and his blood-shot eyes. He even offered me a stick of Malboro red. Hee... But during those days, I was still a non-smoker. Anyway, though during that period of time, I have about 3k of savings, I still didn't give that guy a single cent. I just rejected him nicely. But yesterday, though I was in debt of 10k, I still gave more than what she asked for... It was then that I realized something about myself... I have "up-graded"...

In the past, I didn't knew the value of money and spent like water. Later in life, when I was in my previous company, I was poor for a peroid of time (due to many reasons) and started to understand that money is not easily earned. Somehow over the course of time in the company till now (after the above mentioned incident), I've realized that money is not easily earned and that money is NEVER the root of all evil... It's the person who is the evil one. I was already in a 10k debt. So what is losing just another 5 bucks to some one who sees this like 10k? I feel happy that she's happy... Now that is what I call the joy of living...

But of course, you won't see me giving a single cent to beggars who just sit at the side of a busy street "acting" pathetic. Honestly, I pity them and mind you... When I pity someone, I seriously look down on that person. So what if you are disable? What you have is your life. You should live it to the fullest and not just "sit in the mud" and wait for money to drop from the sky. On the other hand, I more or less respect those who do performances, like singing or playing a musical intrument. At least these people are doing something. At least they make use of their talent. At least they value their lives...

But whatever... I'll be going for my ICT this Wednesday and I need a bloody helmet. Some bugger borrowed my few years ago and never did returned it back. Bloody shit... Think I'll just drop sms to cousin Marvin... ...

What a night...

2005-09-11T03:54:00.000+08:00

Just came back from clubing or should I say chilling-out. Somehow tonight everyone seemed occupied with their stuffs. So no choice... I had to entertain myself. I was at Orchard around 2130hrs. Had my dinner at Far East Plaza's BK. Then wondered off... It was then that I started to contact everyone. Sigh... And it appeared that all were busy. I walked to Devil's Bar, ideal around outside then took a cab to Zouk. I wanted to go in when I heard that they were gonna play trance. Well... Frankly, trance ain't my type of music. So I took a cab back to Orchard and went to Brix instead. I had just 1 miserable glass of vodka lime. I had actually ordered more but apparently the waiter forgot about it. Whatever... Oh... And I met this same lady (fogotten her name) whom my good guy, Mozaine, and I met last week. Ha... She's so into R&B but the band tonight didn't play much of that. So there I was just me, myself and I, relaxing and grooving to the music with my vodka lime and ciggies. Though I may be alone but I still enjoy myself. Ha... The art of entertaining oneself.

Now I'm just waiting for my hair to dry from my bath. Hmmm... I wonder where's Mozaine... He should be back from overseas by now. Miss that guy sia. He's the very few people whom I can "click" from MIRC. Oh well... Like I've said earlier... The art of entertaining oneself. People may say it's boring, loner, no life etc. But I'm quite proud that I can do it. Try hanging out alone and still enjoy yourself. Bet you can't do it. Ha!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the day when all my cousins unite at one party place. Like what Marilyn said... No need to be all "pretentious" and be goodie-two-shoes. We'll just let loose and have fun. Let's paaarrrrtttyyyyy baby!! Wohoo...

I think my hair's dry enough. I'll just check my e-mail before I visit the Zzz-monster. See ya!

Yeah It's Saturday!

2005-09-10T14:41:00.000+08:00

Hee... I didn't go Devil's Bar yesterday although I said that I would be there. Reason... No one was going and anime was on TV. Ahhh... But tonight be different. I'll be there. Probably early. I somehow just wanna go hang out with or without anyone. If I'm alone tonight, I'll just get to know somebody there. Haven't done that for a long time. Ha... But knowing Singaporeans, it ain't gonna be easy. Aiya... Tonight be the night I don't heck care about anything (almost lah... don't wanna get into fights though). Just wanna loosen up myself.

I've just finished my bowl of instant noodles. Mum is going out too. Hee... She celebrated her birthday with her friends yesterday night. I think there'll be another one for her later. Ha... I don't know. I'm still thinking how to celebrate for mummy dearest when the day comes.

Actually, I'll be serving my ICT. Oh yah... Almost forgotten about it. It's this Wednesday. Sigh... I simply just hate it. I simply hate the fact that I'm still being "controlled" by the government serving the nation. Jeez... Singapore is so controlled. Conscription is fine with me. But not the fact that I'll still have to "serve" for the next 13 years. And I have to do my yearly IPPT if not, I'll be charged with a fine... What is this, man?! Since when is keeping my own body fit the job of the SAF? This is my body for crying out loud! Guys have to work, many a times OT, 5 to 6 days a week to support their family. When we're back from work, we're exhausted but of course it's NO excuse not to exercise. Problem is we have to spend time with our wives or children. And the only rest day we have is Sunday. Now, for those who don't pass their IPPT, they have to go for RT. It's either in the bloody morning or just after our tiresome work 2 times a week. Bloody shit!! It's like no rest at all... You say exercise is a form of relaxation. True... Only of you do it with enjoyment at your own time and place. With RT, you have no choice as to when and where to exercise. Fucked up, man! I know I know... It's because the government wants us to keep fit so that we can defend or country blah blah blah... Jeez... No wonder many are immigrating.

Oh yah... Another thing... Smoking... I can understand about "no smoking" in air-conditioned places. But soon even places like pubs and clubs will have limited smoking area. My goodness... First they freaking jerk up the prices of ciggies many folds and now this motherfucking piece of shit. I understand that they're just trying to take care of us... But ain't this a little too much? Fucking hell... This is my body and I do whatever I want. Government is turning into some control freak body. Few episodes ago on Charmed, the sisters were up against the Avatars, who wanted to create a world without evil and where everything is perfect. No fightings, no wars, no arguments, no vulgarities... A world where everyone is just pure nice. But everytime there is a small fight for example, the people involved in the fight will be banished. And the Avatars always say,"this is to keep the system going". Is Singapore going towards that stage where everything is being controlled just to "keep the peace"? Will there be no free-will?

Whatever... I'm just fucking pissed off. Arrgghhh!! I'm taking a bath... ...

Brand New Day

2005-09-09T15:53:00.000+08:00

Ahh... Just woke up an hour ago. If it wasn't the sms ringing tone from my cell, I would still be asleep. I didn't sleep at all last night (yeah, it was the night before the interveiw). Hey... And it's not because I was worrying about the interview. I was just thinking... And honestly, I can't remember what I was thinking about. Hmmm...

Whatever... I was supposed to go swimming yesterday. Instead, when I've boarded the bus and have taken my seat, I somehow didn't feel like swimming. I alighted near Jurong East MRT station, walked around the area (oh and the newly furnished library looks good), then boarded the train towards Orchard. I was intenting to go to Orchard but somehow (again) I went to City Hall. Why I did that was because I wanted to get hold of MIRC and I know there's one cyber cafe near City Hall. And then again I changed my mind... I went for a browsing (ladies call it window shopping but my so-called browings are much faster) at Raffles City. Soon after that, I made my way to Orchard... On foot. The whole journey took only a mere half hour but my goodness, the sun was mercilessly blaring down his rays of "love" and almost turning cows to beef steak. But thank goodness for 7-11... I bought for myself 1 bottle of 100 plus and gulped it down like a camel. Refreshing... Anyway I was supposed to meet my dear Lina at Orchard at 7pm and at that time I had about 3 hours to waste myself away. And yah... I actually just smoke and bum myself around Orchard. Hee... We had dinner at Pizza Hut and then for some music and drinks at Wisma's Indochine. We just chat till Hafiz (her ex-guy) came along (that was almost midnight), then we went our separate ways. The moment I reached home, I bathed (of course) and collapsed onto my comfy bed. I was KO-ed before I could even fantasize about anything... ...

I woke up this afternoon with a sms from Lau Da (that's what I address my ex-boss's boss informally). Fishy... But whatever it was, I still appreciate his concern. He still asked how I am getting on now even after I left my previous company almost 2 months ago. Sigh... And Shane left the company too. And even Lina is thinking of a part-time job. I worry... Not only for these 2 girls but also for the company. Honestly, I worry for my dear Lina the most. Credit cards can help you or kill you.. I'm still in debts (think around 10k) and I don't wish to see Lina in my shoes too. But then again, if she knows how to survive even with such a debt then I must say she's strong and independent. Sigh... Lina Lina Lina...

Oh... Marilyn sms... There may be a cousin's gathering tonight at Devil's Bar. So far only cousin Jonathon and myself responded. Oh well... I think I'll be there with or without them (~with or without yooooouuuuu... With or without you ooh oh... I can't livvvveeee with or without you~). Hee... Sorry lah. Suddenly thought of this song.

Oh... Almost 1700hrs already. I'll go help buy 4D for mum first... Ciao!

Screwed-up Interview

2005-09-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

I just came back from my interview. Gosh... I think I screwed it up. All went well except for 1 particular question. Sigh...

The company produces polyolefin resins, namely polyethelyene and polypropylene. So they asked me," Name me some things in this room that is made of such materials." I was somehow stunned. I gave a very fucking stupid answer. I said," Those mugs?" I thought the mugs were made of plastic but a closer look revealed that they were clay mugs. But too late... I have gave them my answer. Stupid, stupid and stupid... Arrgggghhhh!!

I knew the answer. Heck! I'm a chemistry student for crying out loud. Polyolefins are simple hydrocarbons. Single bonding all the way. Therefore, they are highly flexible and transparent. So products include plastic files, plastic bags, plastic pen etc... OMG! I know the answer but I just somehow didn't thought of it just now. OMFG!!

Whatever... What's over is over. But it was damn embarrassing at that point of time. It is still embarrassing when I think about it now. What the hell was I thinking? Mugs... Pure stupidity to the max sia...

I'm going swimming now... Need to get my mind away from that highly ridiculous incident. Then I'll meet Lina later in town. Arrgghh! I can hear laughter in my head... Bye! I'm off... ...

It's Today Again...

2005-09-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

Ah... Had a peaceful sleep last night. I think it's due to the work out I had yesterday morning. Though muscles are aching, I will still work out again later. The weather is nice and cooling for a jog today (so far).

Mum cooked Japanese curry for lunch. Sigh... And again she raked up the past about how she regret helping me my business, wasting so much time blah blah blah... (It's a long story about my previous job). I keep hearing it over and over again and honestly I'm so sick of it. I know that she invested a lot money into helping me and now that I'm out of that company, all effort simply went down the drain. But please, I'm also human. I too feel terrible that my own mum's money was spent in such a way. But I always take it as paying for a school fee 'cos I really did learn a lot in the 2 years in my previous company. It's the experience I had that I find it fruitful. But obviously, my mum didn't see it as that. Is it a girls' problem that they always rake up the past? Can't they just move on? I feel terrible enough and yet I get constant reminder of it. it's frustrating...

But mum is still mum... I still love my mum. Though she nags, complain etc., she still cooks lunch, washes the laundry mops the floor etc. Don't be mistaken... I'm not taking her as a maid. I mean, who else will do all these things for you with no strings attached? See... Now she is nagging again about why I didn't drink the barley water that she boiled. Hee... I don't like the nagging but there's a warm feeling about it. I love it and I hate it... It's a love-hate relationship. Complicating. Whatever...

Oh... Here's a make-over photograph taken I think 3 years ago? That's my mum and I of course. Like my sister, right? Ha... Honestly, when I look back 10 years ago, my mum still look exactly the same as now 10 years later. My goodness... Think she is mastering Bu Lao Sheng Gong!

Oh oh... Shane called me yesterday afternoon. She quitted her job too. We were in the same company. I have nothing to say for that as I too left. Shane has more responsibilities. She have a 3 year old daughter to take care of. She just got her first credit card too. I do hope she spend wisely. My dear Lina doesn't know that Shane left (I think). The 3 of us were always together, crapping around in the company. Now I guess it's just Lina. Ha... Looking at another side of things... I always feel lucky that I have 2 beautiful ladies with me.

Anyway, I've got to do some grocery shopping for my mum now. Hee... Can smoke at the same time too. Muahahah... ...

Damn Early Today

2005-09-06T05:30:00.000+08:00

I woke up damn early today, man... Actually, I slept at 2030hrs yesterday and woke up at 0230hrs. After that, I just toss and turn around in bed. Finally, I got up of bed at 0430hrs, cooked myself instant noodles, smoked and here I am blogging. I always have weird dreams or rather nightmares (dreams are always weird as there's no such thing as a logical dream, duh...) everytime I sleep early and last night was no exception. It's blurry but there was something about some huge spider with a demoness's head chasing after me in an large enclosed room. I remember one part whereby I was running into another smaller room that looked like the interior of a ticketing counter. I slammed the door and was panting with my back facing the door. Then a huge, green, bony, disgusting hand of the demoness spider punched through the door and started trying to grab me. Don't know what I do that she retreated. I squatted adjacent to the door, facing the glass panels of the ticketing counter. Then her head popped out of the small opening of the glass panel and she had somebody's head with her. I used my hands to cover my eyes and ears as I didn't want to see and hear her sucking the juices out of that head but I still somehow able to see and hear her doing that, though not very clear. Then... I forgot what happened. Hee...

I like to interpret dreams. They are actually your sub-conscious conveying messages to the conscious. But dreams are very individual and unique to each and every person as images in the dreams mean different things to different people. Example, mine dream... How do I interpret it?

Huge = Overpowering
Spider = Fear (and yes, I'm afraid of spiders)...
Running away / Hiding from = Running away / hiding from reality (quite obvious)...
Covering eyes and ears = Trying not to think about...
Able to see and hear (though eyes and ears covered) = Unable to hide / run from...

Hee... Therefore, the meaning of my dream may be that I am running away from a great fear which I am so far unable to overcome and I am trying very hard not to face or think about it but it still persist haunting me... But there's one problem. I don't know what this fear is. All I know is a great fear. Sigh... Sometimes I'm just too lazy to analyse deeper. Whatever...

Anyway, I'll be working out as soon as I see the first rays of the sun. I slept too early so I didn't work out yesterday. So it's a make-up this time. Oh... Just nice... The national anthem is on the radio. Think I'll just smoke another stick while watching the sky lighten up...

Oh maybe before that I'll just take a peek at my cousin, Marilyn's blog... ... ... ...

Wah lau eh!! I look horrible in those photos lah!! OMG!! I think Marilyn's photo-taking skills need to improve or maybe it's the camera's problem... Hmmm... I look fat too! Looks like I really have to lose those fat and gain those muscles. I should look like the this:

Aiyaya... I better smoke first... If Mum wakes up and catches me smoking, I'll get another 3 days of non-stop nagging. Okay, ciao... ...

Sinful Day...

2005-09-05T20:06:00.000+08:00

Ahh... Can't imagine that I gorged down my left over slice of birthday cake and 3 scoops of raspberry ice-cream. My goodness... The amount of fat and calaries... Think I'll do some intensive workout later. Let's see... Upper body workout followed by a 5 km jog. I got to and have to!

I was browsing through some websites looking for some great flash animation and I stumble upon this... Ninjai: The Little Ninja. It has 12 episodes for now and I'm now just at episode 10 'cos it takes a hell lot of time to load. Jeez... But it's worth it (if you like it lah). I would rate it NC16 due to violence and some blood and gore. I'll put it in my "Cool Links" section.

You know... I've always wanted to create some flash animation or the such. Like South Park, Happy Tree Friends etc. Ha... All those crappy, sadistic cartoons... But I just don't have a clue on how to go about making one. I think need to buy some software. Aiya... Just heck it for now. Tight on cash.

I'm still lost. I need to do something about it. I need to get out of here. I want to just relax somewhere for a while. Maybe a day or two. But where? I wanna go cruise but it's expensive. I wanna go Sentosa but lots of people. Damn... I need a girl. Not for sex, moron. Just company. Someone to talk to, someone to share my joy and sorrow, someone to love and be loved. Ha... I'm real desperate huh? Haha... I'm tired of all the flings, flirts and ONS. Just wanna settle down. I'm done with singlehood. I'm done with it... ...

Wedding Day

2005-09-05T01:37:00.000+08:00

Yep... Today's the wedding day. Not mine lah, moron. My cousin's. But I woke up at 1300hrs. Ha... Mum was already out for the Chinese tea ceremony thingy. Ah... And she brought back some fried rice and nitty gritty goodies. After food, I just slack and do practically nothing till 1700hrs. Maybe because the weather was so cooling after the rain that I just feel like doing nothing.

Anyway, the wedding dinner was okay lah. Just chit chat with some of my cousins. Oh oh... And my niece... She's forever so so so adorable. She's only 4 yrs of age but so ever adorable. But hmmm... Till now, I never quite catch her name. Whatever... She sat between my cousin, Marilyn and myself. I felt like I'm taking care of my own kid sia and it felt good. I had that very nice, warm feeling inside of me. Ha... Paternal instinct kicking in I think.

Honestly, I felt somehow lost today. I don't know what I are my plans for the next few days and I just feel... ... I don't know... Lost? My good guy was mentioning about going to the beach (he stays in the east anyway) and actually I too wanted to just listen to the waves and just relax. But too far for me lah... Sigh... What shall I do today? I really don't know... People have work but I have none. Interview's on Thursday. So from now till then, what shall I do? What shall I ever do?

Think I'll just smoke first... ... ...

Hangover

2005-09-03T13:02:00.000+08:00

Jeez... I can never hold my liquer well.

I was out with this acquaintance of mine. Nice guy I must say. We ate at Coffee Club at Orchard then went drinking at Brix. It's the first time I've been to such a wonderful place. The crowd was definitely different from the other clubs I've been to. I like it. Many were foreigners and of the mature age group. But to me, what stands out the most was the friendliness. We can start a conversation without getting cold stares and the such. He did most of the ice-breaking and we got to chat and dance with a small group of caucasian "tai tai". They were mature and not very attrative. But what I like was that they were very conversable. Managed to converse with a few others too. It was simply great. Sigh... Singaporeans should learn from them.

Oh... Haha... Had an interesting experience at Brix too. Apparently, there were pros around too. Those high class prositutes. And I must say, they were OMG damn good sia! There was this one particular pro who have an eye for me. I didn't take notice until my good guy told me about it. Initially, I just laugh it off. But she kept hanging around me and even pinch my butt! Ha... The lady (whom we just got acquainted) told us that it must be our lucky day. When me and my good guy finally approached the pro (just for chats lah), we found out she's Mongolian and didn't understand a single freaking word we said. To me, it was a turn off. Ha... but cool to have a pro hitting on you instead of you hitting on her. But maybe because we seemed to be the only young guys around... Hmmm...

Anyway, I guess I may not be clubing tonight. I puke when I reached home. It was embarrassing... My good guy was still around when I "merlion" and my goodness, it was quite a spectacular one. My puke shot like 2 meters far! Awesome... But all in all, I really appreciate his presence yesterday. Very accomodating fellow. Maybe can introduce to Lina... Hmmm...

I'll be meeting Lyn soon at 3pm to discuss more into details regarding my up-coming interview. And I guess I better prepare now...

"Kenny's Believe It Or Not"

2005-09-02T14:34:00.000+08:00

Host: Welcome to an all new episode of "Kenny's Believe It Or Not", where all things and experiences are true and veeerrrryyyy bizzare...

Music: ~~DANG DANG DANG DAAANNNGGGGGG~~

Host: In today's feature, we have our one and only Missstttterrrrrrr Kenny!!

Kenny comes running out from behind the stage curtains

Audience: ~~Applause~~

Kenny waves to all his fans with enthusiaism

Audience: ~~~~APPLAUSE~~~~WHISTLES~~~~

Host: Okay, I believe that's enough... So Mr. Kenny. What's so unbelievable about you?

Kenny: (Still smiling) Do you know that I can shit oil?

Audience: ~~ooowww ahhhh waaahhh~~

Host: My goodness! Do you drink oil or something? Please tell us more.

Kenny: As you all know, it was my birthday 2 days ago. My mum bought a small cake for a little celebration. I was happy, of course... But cake have lots of fat especially in those yummy cream. So after eating 1 big slice of it, I popped in a blue capsule given by my dearest mum. Now this is the exciting part...

Audience: ~~whisper whisper whisper~~

Kenny: The very next day, when I go poo, there were droplets of oil in my poop! Why I know it's oil is because the yellow liquid floats!

Audience: ~~OOoowww WWAaaahhh OOo mmyy gggooodd~~

Someone in audience faints

Kenny: This little blue capsule actually inhibits the enzymes that breaks down fat in the intestine. So the fat and oil in the food you eat actually get poo-ed out... Effect last only for that meal. Interesting huh... In fact I can show it to you now 'cos I'm about to poo. Guys, you can bring out the toilet bowl now!

Someone in audience faints again

Anyway... You get the idea lah. Just wanna do a bit of expression here. Ha... But it's true that I shit oil. Cool huh...

Okay whatever... What shall I do today? Ahhh... Be meeting this acquaintance of mine for dinner and maybe clubing. He'll be picking me up from my home 'cos he borrowed his cousin's car. Best! Save the hustle and bustle of the train crowd. We'll most likely dine at Coffee Club in Orchard. But Mum just bought dinner back, man... Looks like I'll be having just finger food later.

Oh... I just received an e-mail from one of my dearest cousin saying that some of our cousins cheong at Devil's Bar too. Awesome!! She was suggesting some cousin's get-together party. Sounds cool... Love the idea. Haven't seen many for what seem like ages. During our younger days, we were much closer. Ha... We used to be so naive but it was always fun.

Well, most likely I'll be at Devil's Bar on Saturday with or without anyone. Just wanna chill out. I don't usually dance (unless there're babes with me lah) so it's fine with me. Ha... I do many things alone actually... Watch movies, go KTV, clubing & pubing, dining out... Being the only child in the family, I have to do many stuffs alone. Independent. This is not "no life" or "boring". If I ask you to do all those alone, will you be able to do it? Ha... Let's just say, I know how to entertain myself.

Sigh... if only I'm going out with some attrative girl. Can't wait till lessons start this coming October. Wonder who I will meet?

Post Birthday

2005-09-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a hair cut. And that huge pimple behind my neck is still pulsing with juice. Sickening! It's rather unsightly especially with this short hair-cut. With the help of my mum, I stuck on the magnetic "super ban" and hopefully within a day or two, I will be able to "milk" it out. Muahahah... ...

Okay, whatever... I've received an invitation from Citibank to sign up for their Citibank UltraCash. Well... It's actually just like OCBC's EasiCredit. A free cheque book plus a card to withdraw cash (not a credit card though). I think I'll sign up lah. At least can get some cash. Without a job now, I'm struggling through my bills and expenditure. Jeez...

Oh talking about job... Finally, I received a call yesterday evening from The Polyolefin Company. I sent in my resume weeks ago and finally, finally, finally be going for an interview on the 8th September. But ICT on 14th... Wonder if they will help me defer if I get the job... But that's for later. Be meeting Lyn on Saturday for coffee to discuss further on scoring for an interview. No more blunders like the first interview I had. Once bitten, twice shy... And if three times, then I'm a fool! Ha...

Ah yes... The new anime (debut) yesterday night seems cool. Magic, knights and an interesting plot... Just like Lord of the Rings. Best sia! What was the title...? Scrapped Princess. Tonight, it'll be broadcasting as usual. Got to catch it, man!

Oh yah... My cousin is getting married this Sunday. It'll be the usually Chinese tea serving ceremony in the morning and a dinner at Harbour Front in the evening. I guess I'll just go for the wedding dinner lah. I'm not close with this cousin of mine anyway. And well... I may just have a hangover... Hee... I may be out with acquaintance I've met on IRC. Depending on how things go, we may just go clubing. But a bit broke... (Got to get that job, man!)

Actually... When I was reading Urban (comes with The Straits Times every Thursday), I came across 2 whole pages about our local university students' style of dressing. I must agree that some or rather many dress too casually in campus. Imagine... T-shirt, bermudas, slippers and you're seated in front of your lecturer... It reminded me of another acquaintance whom I get to know during my JC days. No matter where he goes, whether is it the 7-11 down his block or dining out at Orchard Road, he's always in T-shirt, bermudas, sandals. My goodness... To me, that's just totally inappropriate. People "judge" who you are during the first 3 seconds of contact. Oh whatever... Let them be. I guess it's just different school of thoughts.

Oh... But another thing that caught my attention was the short section where a few lecturers were interviewed regarding their "dress style". I noticed all were addressed as Dr. So-and-so. It suddenly occurred to me that I want to get a doctorate or PhD. Hmmm... I'll thing about it. I'm not very young anymore (though I'm always feeling "forever 21") and need some financial planning. But the returns can be great...

Anyway, it'll be a boring night again. Well... At least there'll be Lost and anime later tonight to keep me company. Sigh... Need a girlfriend, man... ...

Birthday Today...

2005-08-31T15:20:00.000+08:00

Aaahhh... Well well... First time I'm here. First time I'm actually blogging. Main reason... Nothing better to do. I don't even know what to put in here in the first place. Oh well... I guess i just dump whatever is or was on my mind.

Today is my 25th birthday. Yes, I'm getting older or rather I should say "more mature". Mummy dearest cooked the "mee sua" with 2 hard boiled eggs. Long noodles for longevity and 2 eggs for ... ... hmmm... ... fertility??? Whatever... She bought a small cake too (Wow!). Got to agree Mum is always the best. Oh oh... and guess what?! Lina got for me a birthday gift!! YAHOOOOooooo!!! I'm not a person who is into presents but to know that someone close to me is getting for me one just excites me (not erotically). I sms her asking what it was... All I know is that it's not a girlfriend... It's not a ONS girl... It's not a blow-up doll... And it's not a pair of soft silky boxers... Wonder when I'll get it? And I mean the gift, not the above mentioned...

No plans for the day yet. Boring.... Been searching for a job for like 2 months. And fuck went for only 1 miserable interview in which I fucking screwed it up. But it's okay... Lesson learnt... Just got to prepare and anticipate the questions asked by the interviewers ( I know that long ago... It's just that I was lazy to "think" lah).

For those who are reading this, some of you may find my life, my way of perceiving life and my thinking boring and "stupid"... But others may find it interesting. In time to come, you'll know me better... I may look like a goodie boy but really, I'm not. Of course, I'm not those biker guys getting into trouble all the time lah. Ha... in time to come... ...